Live the Questions: Rilke’s Unusual Advice on Uncertainty

This is the quote that led me to read the book Letters to a Young Poet. And this is the kind of quote that you just keep coming back to again and again. I have been doing that.  Well, to be honest, not just this quote but this whole book. 

But I will focus on just this quote in this newsletter.

Rilke is actually saying a lot and providing some timeless advice here.

So, let’s think about it because meaning isn’t always obvious!

I will start with a little bit of context just so you know what it’s all about.

This quote is an excerpt from a letter Rainer Maria Rilke wrote to Franz Kappus. Kappus admired Rilke’s work. So he began writing to him to seek guidance and critique for his own poems. 

It’s worth knowing that Kappus was 19 years old when he wrote the first letter, and Rilke was 27. Kappus was a cadet (trainee in armed services) at the same military school that Rilke had studied in the 1890s. A mutual teacher had connected the pair. They exchanged letters for five years (from 1903 to 1908) and never met in person during that time.

So, this may even feel like Rilke is just talking to his younger self. Because in terms of age, he’s not that old. But he has certainly lived and experienced more. 

Why is Rilke telling Kappus to “live the questions”?

Because life’s biggest questions—like purpose, meaning, identity, faith, love, loneliness—can’t be solved like math problems. They need to be lived through. They’re not puzzles with clear answers. They are journeys that require time, pain, joy, failure, and reflection.

When he says “live the questions,” I think he means:

Don’t treat uncertainty as a problem. Let it be your companion. Your guide.
Experience life fully, and let the meaning unfold naturally, over time.

Rilke is telling Kappus that the search for answers is less important than the process of living through uncertainty. Instead of rushing for quick answers, he encourages embracing doubt and mystery as part of growth.

When he says, "You have not been able to live them", he means that answers only make sense when you’ve experienced life deeply (or enough). If you force an answer too soon, it’ll feel hollow because you haven’t lived enough to understand it.

Now, if you notice, the two comparisons (similes) are just brilliant and quite apt.

1. A locked room might hold something valuable or meaningful (perhaps that’s why it’s locked), and it’s not accessible yet. You can’t force it open. You need the right moment, the right key (which is, in this case, lived experience).

2. A book in a foreign tongue is full of meaning (or wisdom), but you can’t understand it until you learn the language. Again, you need time and patience to even begin to understand what it’s saying.

What Rilke is saying here is also timeless and deeply relevant today.

We are so used to getting answers—fast and always available. But what we don’t realise is that often these answers are just shallow, and don’t apply to our unique lives.

We have the freedom to Google anything. And now ask anything to AI chatbots.

We expect quick fixes for heartbreak, purpose, identity, burnout, productivity, creativity, [enter any aspect you’re struggling with].

We are so reluctant to just say, “I don’t know yet.” Or “I am still figuring it out.”

A lot of anxiety today comes from feeling like we’re behind in life, or unsure where we’re going.

But Rilke gently says: You are not behind. You are in the process of becoming who you want to be.

This shifts the mindset:

• From panic to patience.

• From needing answers to honouring the question itself.

• From insecurity to curiosity.

The world rewards knowers. But Rilke teaches us the value of the seeker.

He’s saying:

• Don’t rush to close the question.

• Learn to live with mystery.

• Let uncertainty shape your soul instead of scare you.

This quote reminds us that slowness is not failure. That patience is not passivity. That some answers must be grown into, not grabbed.

And maybe that’s the hardest part—not because it’s hard to understand, but because it’s hard to accept.

Hence, Rilke isn’t against answers. He’s against impatience and un-lived answers.

It’s like you can’t skip to the last chapter of a book and understand the whole story. You have to read it, sit with it, and let it unfold before you.

Do you agree with my explanation and interpretation?

What do you make of it?

A question for you before I wrap up: Where in your life are you rushing for an answer instead of "living the question"? (No need to tell me. Just something to ponder!)

That’s all for this week. We will meet again next week with another quote ;)

Until then,

Stay curious

Zaid

PS: If you have not read Letters to A Young Poet, then I highly recommend it. It’s not a long read (only 10 letters). And it’s full of gems like this quote we discussed.